hayley
hEAD-ROYCE SCHOOL
10TH GRADE
1.How do you identify? Have you always felt comfortable in this identity? Interpret this question however you'd like, whether it be your gender, ethnicity or nationality.
I identify as an African American female. Growing up, I used to hate how thick and curly/kinky my hair was, even when people told me they wished they had my hair. But now, I love that it's unique in the sense that it's not the typical beauty ideal in the US. Even though, I wish it would cooperate with my brush, I still love how it holds different styles for a long time. My skin color has honestly never been much of an issue with my personal comfort, considering I don't tend to see myself that often.
2. Talk about the environments and communities you've been a part of and the ways in which they've affected the formation of your identity. Tell your story!
I feel like I have to be careful with the way I describe things, especially where I live. One time I was telling people I thought I heard fireworks nearby my neighborhood, and they were thinking that maybe it was gunshots I actually heard...I still don't know if they assumed that because I am black, I live in a ghetto, but it made me really stop and think about...how careful I need to be so that I don't play into negative stereotypes. It's kind of a shame because I don't think that I should have to be THAT self aware. I shouldn't have to worry about people thinking that I'm an angry black girl just because I talk loudly. Or that I'm “trashy”, or “ratchet” just because I have a different sense of style. Growing up in a primarily white school, I've always had people marveling over my hair and when I was younger, I thought it was cool that people thought my hair was nice. But as I grew older I realized that they just saw me as something different, and out of the ordinary, which is totally not cool.
3.Where do you feel most safe as a racial minority at Head-Royce?
I feel the most safe as a racial minority at HRS in our Black Student Union and around my other POC friends/classmates. I feel like we have this kind of unspoken connection, which is very nice to have in a situation where there typically aren't a lot of people like you who can relate to you.
4. In what moments, if any, have you felt hyper-aware of your race in attending an independent school?
Well, something that recently happened, was that a lot of junior guys asked a lot of girls in my grade (sophomores) to prom. And there are very few POC girls in my grade, but out of the large, kind of clique/group in my grade, none of the POC girls got asked to prom (except for 1 half white girl). All the white girls were asked. It was kind of sad to me because I remember hearing one of the black girls in my grade asking if anyone wanted to hang out with her on prom night because all of her friends got asked, but she didn't. I mean, was it a coincidence that out of all the girls that were asked, only one of them was a POC? Racial preferences at Head-Royce? I mean, am I going to get asked to prom next year? Or will I be too dark to match any of the guys in my grade...?
5. Do you feel as though individuals of your race are properly represented at HRS. Whether this is through the literature that we read, members of of our staff etc...
At Head-Royce, I can only remember about 3 or 4 books that we have read (out of many) that were by POC authors or featured POC characters. It's bizarre because HRS talks so much about diversity and how important it is, but our units on Civil Rights and race lasts merely a week or two, and we are allowed 1 day to teach our school about present issues surrounding race.
6. If you came back to visit HRS in 10 years, what would you have liked to see changed?
I would like to see more POC teachers, more time for students to learn about diversity, and race.
7. Tell me about a time when you felt proud of your race!
Whenever our BSU does an assembly, or some kind of announcement or performance that has a lasting impression on our community, I feel proud. Whenever a black person is featured in the media with positivity, either acting, modeling, growing business, changing the world...anything positive, that proves the negative stereotypes wrong.